Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
