Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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