He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
