GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
