watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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