so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
