nut hugger
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize