Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Randomize
