you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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