I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize