The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
