We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize