listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
