either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
