Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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