When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize