Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
