are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
