I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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