I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
