So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
