had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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