ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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