? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
