I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
