barbara walters just said penis...
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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