I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize