I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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