did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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