I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
