Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
