whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
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