If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
