im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
