Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
