I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
