Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
