your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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