Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
