Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Randomize
