Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
