you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
