So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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