And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
