Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Everyone says I win the strip club
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
