So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you didnt know i had herpes?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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