Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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