I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
