What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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