There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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