I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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