I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm always down for nudity.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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