therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you would pick up someone in the library
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
