Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
