This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
