I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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