well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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