I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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